How are you today? What do you want? What do you truly need? Are the decisions you are making coming from within yourself or are they influenced by the tornado of a life you are currently immersed in?
You can feel the incessant rhythm of everyday life, of responsibilities, outside opinions appear louder and louder and the endless ideas that cross your mind you begin to create a sense of overwhelm.
Overwhelm: to be overcome with emotion as a result of an amount of something (work, stress, etc.) that’s too much t
If this is you, it may be time to turn the world off and reconnect with yourself.
But where do you learn to how do this? How can you just decide the world should stop turning for a few hours so that you can refocus on yourself?
Truth is, what you need is a self-care ritual.
Is there one ritual that works for anyone? No. That is why it is so important that you learn to design it in a way that truly works for that precious individual sitting here with me reading these words. You.
If you have read up to this point there is no doubt in your mind that you are ready to cut our time for yourself.
The first few times I tried to design my own self-care ritual I couldn’t help but wonder: why has no one taught me this before?
No need to worry, we are going to tackle this together from the design phase to implementing and reconnecting to who you are in 3 easy steps.
How to design your perfect reconnection routine:
- Design: Close your eyes for a minute. What brings you energy? What calms you? In this first step we will decide the set up you need, the ingredients you require to activate your self-care ritual and how to implement it.
- Implement: Turn off your phone, your laptop, your thoughts. Close your eyes and reconnect with yourself, how you are, what you need.
- Repeat: The best part about self-care rituals is that they can become your own routine for reconnection. Small changes, big results.
What do I need to prepare?
You can begin by thinking of what makes you feel good, cozy, loved.
Time alone is scary for most and for others a luxury we don’t often carve out of our schedules. We prioritize productivity, we prioritize relationships and anything that falls on our long ‘to do’ list. In truth, when you don’t take time for yourself you will likely be less productive, make worse decision and in the long run strain relationships and friendships. Let’s be honest, none of us are very pleasant when we are not in alignment with ourselves.
This ritual is designed to send ourselves one extremely powerful message: you are worthy of love.
You are worth stopping for.
You are worth taking care of.
Will a scented candle or a tea with an ancient herbal family tradition turn this around for us? Maybe not if we only do it once or twice, but if we create a routine that we activate with consistency the answer is yes, you can be sure that you are bound to see lasting effects.
In this first phase, we commit to setting ourselves up for success and to identifying all the ingredients we need in our alone time. You are sending a message to your own subconscious that yes, you are important to yourself and as such you deserve to take care of yourself.
- A space just for yourself with a comfortable couch, pillows, carpet, or a bed. Privacy.
- 1 serving of Konse Tea: I chose Konse because I when it comes to self care, I trust experience, tradition, I trust family. The Konse tea recipes come directly from Konse founder Hanna’s father. I chose the KÖNSE Infusion and Tea Set with Infuser Set which includes three types of teas: Gut Health, Skin Radiance and Sugar Balance. This allows me to choose exactly what I need based on when I put this ritual in action. Also, I like to have my Gut Health tea every evening. Activating this touch of my reconnection ritual in my every day routine activates that same part of the brain that says: you are taking care of yourself. You are worthy of love.
- Speakers and music that speaks to your soul: I like to change sound and playlist based on how I feel. Choose music with no lyrics, music that touches your soul and gifts you space and freedom to relax.
- A candle: I love lighting up the room with a candle. When I turn on a candle I know I am doing something exclusively for me. It’s a symbol of self care, it creates a relaxed ambience and it helps me focus when I meditate.
As you set up your personal space, remember that self care rituals don’t need to be all encompassing. Give yourself the freedom to change it over time.
Think of what small steps you can take rather than designing a complex 3-hour routine if you are just getting started in designing a little oasis of peace in the middle of the chaos of your everyday life.
As I turn on a scented candle in my newly-clean apartment, I pour a cup of a very special Konse tea (Sugar Balance) and take a moment to reflect on the week that has just come to an end. My phone is finally off. Amidst the challenges of everyday life I realize I haven’t had a second to reconnect with myself. My voice feels drowned by to do lists, meetings, friends and opinions which are not my own.
My candle is light and a soft tune is playing in my living room.
This is when you know you are ready to implement your reconnection ritual.
My suggestion is to begin with an exercise to rewire your central nervous system. It’s called square breathing because it’s a very simple breathing exercise you can repeat 4 times:
- Inhale in 4 counts
- Hold in 4 counts
- Exhale in 4 counts
- Hold in 4 counts Repeat this 4 times.
I will not tell you what to do in the next hour or more, as much time as you have decided to gift yourself with. This is private, this is just for you.
If you are looking to get started with guided mediation, there is an incredible free app called Insight Timer that offers a wonderful base to begin.
Why is it important for this ritual to become a routine? A routine allows you not tot think of what you need to do to have this moment of reconnection. You already know exactly how to set the room up for you. You know what elements you need within your space. Your brain will see this as a clear sign that this is time for you, it will be easier for you to mentally detach from every-day life and dive into your own moment of quiet.
Every single step of this ritual that you activate during your every day life will take you back to this exact moment of connection with yourself. Every cup of tea you chose, each time you light that candle.
When can I feel real changes from this routine? It’s called a routine because ideally you want to set up a specific moment when you put this in place. I would suggest to start from a weekly moment. Changes don’t occur when we suddenly decide ‘from tomorrow I will go to the gym every day’. They start with small shifts, small actions that occur regularly. If we sum up the small actions we take, all together they will generate a massive shift, in this case, allowing you to reconnect to yourself on a regular basis.
What we all need to know
Learning to take care of yourself is no easy task. It seems so simple because in fact we have complete control over it, however in reality for many of us it is one of the most challenging actions to put in place.
It is a moment for us to remind our being that yes, we are worthy of love, of our own love.
To truly take care of ourselves we have to care both for our mind and our body, that is why choosing the right tea, the right scent, a candle to stimulate the senses is key to bringing our mind and body to this very moment, right here right now.
I challenge you to take that time that you have been craving for today. Treat yourself with something simple yet so powerful, such as the Konse set of teas.
Remember that especially at a time when you are tired, overwhelmed, disconnected from yourself, you need to love yourself just a little harder.